শুক্রবার, ২২ মার্চ, ২০১৩

Britain's aspirations mostly drink-based

'Eat a load of biscuits' is another popular goal

?Eat a load of biscuits? is another popular goal

George Osborne has pledged to help Britain fulfill its aspirations, under the mistaken impression that these involve sitting at a desk.

The Institute for Studies found that 94% of UK ?life goals? involved alcohol, oral sex or driving a sports car really fast around a pedestrianised area.

Professor Henry Brubaker said: ?Most of our ambitions seem to be inspired by pornography or Freeview television programmes where large American men cause explosions.?

Father-of-two Roy Hobbs said: ?My aspirations actually do involve work, in that I hope one day to drive a bulldozer through the office while my colleagues run screaming like the pathetic termites that they are.

?In the medium-term, I am keen to have a four-way with some expensive prostitutes.

?I am grateful but slightly puzzled that the government wants to assist me in these matters.?

Professor Brubaker added: ?We are a nation of hedonists. When we talk about ?getting on? it?s in the context of mounting a member of the opposite sex.?

Source: http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/society/britains-aspirations-mostly-drink-based-2013032163415

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